I have yet to meet a person in this life that is not their own worst critic. I can assure you that no one is harder on Tom Preston than Tom Preston is. It isn’t physically or mentally possible. It has been my experience to date that this is true of all people. I call this voice the inner critic.
The question that begs to be asked though is WHY? Why are we so hard on ourselves? Why do we criticize ourselves so freely? Why are we rarely happy or content for very long before we start to think or feel there must be something more or better in life? Why do we compare ourselves to others?
While the answers to those questions surely have variability amongst different people I have found at least one common element in my almost 20 years as a professional coach/consultant. PEOPLE HAVE NOT TAKEN THE TIME TO DEFINE SUCCESS FOR THEMSELVES SO THEY BUY INTO SOMEONE ELSE’S DEFINITION.
Think of the amount of time, energy and money the marketing companies of this world invest trying to get us to believe that this product or service is going to add value to our lives. They can be pretty persuasive with their cool little jingles, hard bodied actors and actresses showing off their tight jeans and cowboy hats (OK OK I like those Budweiser commercials 🙂 ) not to mention their use of lighting and airbrushing and all of the other tricks of the trade designed to trick our senses into thinking we can’t live without whatever they’re peddling.
Think of the impact a carefully crafted commercial has on a small child if they like what they see/hear/sense. They go crazy with desire as they have no filter for the seduction of the advertising and can pretty much drive their parents to distraction with their incessant chanting of “I want this.” I contend we all have a small child inside of us that has had ideas and concepts planted into our subconscious mind before we realized they were in there, that drive many of our thoughts about how we define success for ourselves.
NO WONDER WE ARE OUR OWN WORST CRITICS. WE ARE CONSTANTLY COMPARING OURSELVES TO SOME STANDARD THAT WE DIDN’T EVEN CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE AND THAT LIKELY ISN’T SUPPORTED BY OUR VALUES. NO WONDER WE NEVER ACHIEVE “THAT” DEFINITION OF SUCCESS! THE OLDER WISER PART OF US DOESN’T REALLY RESONATE WITH IT!
So what is the solution you ask? Define successi in your own ideal in every area of your life. Consciously choose how you define success and then set action plans and goals in order to achieve that definition that you consciously crafted. You will then be able to answer a tough question one of my coaches posed years ago, which is “how do you know when enough is enough?” How do you know when enough time with your spouse is enough? How do you know when enough marketing is enough? How do you know when enough exercise is enough? How do you know when enough time with your children is enough? How do you know when enough money is enough?
We call this document in our coach/consulting programs “I Know I am Successful When.” To date every one of the thousands of clients that has completed this exercise properly has found themselves to be a far bigger success then they knew themselves to be before doing the conscious work. Imagine the impact that has on their inner critic?
I have witnessed the positive power this conscious exercise has on people’s lives and I would love that for you as well. Simply click here and you will have access to the greatest tool I am aware of for silencing the inner critic. At least then you will know success when you are living it vs. stumbling blindly through life feeling like less then the amazing person you truly are or click to start below.